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Chicken’s Rights

Minister of Positive Ideas for the Nations of the World, Sir Phil has worked out this bill:

LADONIAN CHICKEN’S BILL OF RIGHTS

ARTICLE 1:

NO LADONIAN CHICKEN SHALL BE CONFINED TO A 24-HOUR EGG LAYING FACILITY. CHICKENS HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN EIGHT HOUR DAY WITH ADEQUATE FOOD, WATER, AND SLEEP PROVISIONS.

ARTICLE 2:

NO LADONIAN CHICKEN SHALL BE EXECUTED BY LADONIAN HUMANS FOR EATING. THOUGH THIS LAW DOES PROHIBIT LADONIAN HUMANS FROM KILLING CHICKENS, IT DOES NOT EXTEND THIS PROHIBITION TO NON-LADONIAN STATES OR PERSONS, NOR DOES THIS LAW PROHIBIT LADONIANS FROM EATING CHICKENS KILLED BY NON-LADONIANS. BUT THIS LAW DOES DISCOURAGE PERSONS EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD FROM KILLING AND EATING CHICKENS.

ARTICLE 3: CRUEL EXPERIMENTS USING CHICKENS IS PROHIBITED IN LADONIA AND ARE ILLEGAL FOR LADONIANS TO PRACTICE. THE JURISDICTION OF THIS RULE APPLIES ONLY TO LADONIA AND LADONIAN EMBASSIES AND PERSONS AND PROPERTY AND IS INTENDED TO SET A HUMANE EXAMPLE FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD COMMUNITY.

ARTICLE FOUR:

ALL LADONIAN CHICKENS HAVE THE RIGHT TO FILE A GRIEVANCE FOR VIOLATIONS OF THESE RULES. GRIEVANCES CAN BE FILED AS FOLLOWS. FOUR STRESSFUL REPEATED CLUCKS MEAN THAT A CHICKEN IS REPORTING THE EXECUTION OF A COLLEAGUE FOR EATING. FIVE STRESSFUL REPEATED CLUCKS REPORT A VILOATION OF THE EIGHT HOUR EGG-LAYING DAY. SIX STRESSFUL REPEATED CLUCKS POINT OUT THAT ADEQUATE FOOD AND WATER IS NOT BEING SUPPLIED. AND SEVEN STRESSFUL REPEATED CLUCKS MEAN THAT CRUEL EXPERIMENTATION IS BEING REPORTED.

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    Ladonia Herald staff writers are citizens of the Royal Republic of Ladonia who donate their time and expertise to help write and edit the news and contribute photos. All writers and editors are vetted by our editorial committee.

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Staff Reports

Ladonia Herald staff writers are citizens of the Royal Republic of Ladonia who donate their time and expertise to help write and edit the news and contribute photos. All writers and editors are vetted by our editorial committee.

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